I had a dream of you last night.
Us in the dark room, blind tentacles reaching for me.
Me shrinking away
Up against the wall, no where to go
Tidal wave of fear,
“No,” you disgust me.
You don’t love me,
You know I am weak
Muscles tighten, broken strings wound too tight
The line has been blurred
between what is love and what is sickness.
And then I remember the other room
This time it’s blue
And he and I are young
And I don’t know what to do
It goes blank, was it me? was it him?
Sometimes I recall death, and sometimes love, but always I am sick
Just like I remember you sometimes
In those days I was your ghost.